Does it Matter: If a positive meme that streams through the Internet "true"?

     As is true of most of us, I have too much data moving through my desk and life. I need to find some method to reduce but I am alway concerned that I may stop something that I needed to learn. For example, sometimes a little gem comes through. A story about someone doing something for, or with, some other person and group and I end up with tears rolling down my cheeks. Sometimes, I find it hard to breathe for a bit. Then, considering how much information comes into my world each day, I find that sneaky little question rising in my mind. Is it true?

     And today, in full force, I answered very loudly “DOES IT MATTER?”.

     This is only about positive anecdotal material that drifts around on the web.

     People have told stories since they were able to talk with one another. There have been people especially gifted (or, possibly, in a family line of historians/storytellers for the tribe) in the art of remembering and helping others to understand and remember. These stories — sometimes turned into myths — have helped us to create our cultures and our customs and traditions. They help to mold us into what we want to be — and what we want our children, and their children, and our children’s children’s children, …

     There has also always been the person who seems to gather up all the current news, good and bad, about the community and, possibly, other communities and feels that it is their duty to “share” this information with everyone they meet. It used to be around the public facilities, perhaps a community fire, where a small group gathered regularly. Then it became around other institutions — the backyard fence, the barbershop or styling salon, the water fountain. If the community was fortunate, the individual (shall we call them the “gossip”?) was not deliberately mean or likely to create false information. If not fortunate, the community was not as healthy as it might have been.

     Such face-to-face passing of information continues as a personal parallel to the role of the storyteller. But, in our “modern” age, the anonymous memes of the Internet have taken the role of gossip (or town crier) up a couple of quantum steps. Faster, more penetrating, quickly spread, anonymous (and very hard to attribute), and easily fabricated. We have only entered into the very scary, and hazardous, world of the easily fabricated deep fakes. I shudder.

     The role of these memes can supplant the role of gossip but they can also bear the burden of storyteller and archivist. These positive anecdotes, that build upon our desired values, can be of great benefit to both individuals and societies. We can all break down and cry with happiness, or support, or bereavement. They can help us to be our best selves. And it doesn’t matter if they really happened because they are like halloween costumes for the archetypes of our society.

     As briefly mentioned, with the light of angels there can also be the shadows of demons.

     Do we feed the good within us or the bad?

     It is up to us to decide what we want to allow to enter.

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Helplessness: One approach to dealing with it is ...

 Band together.

     A person alone has so much to do to overcome the feelings of helplessness and to accomplish the desired goal. But two can mutually support. A group can have strength. A large group can make themselves heard. And a swelling of the masses can truly break out in song of “We Shall Overcome”.

     It seems to be a problem of swelling importance with so many issues facing us. A knowledge, and understanding, of history may be of some help with that. Does knowing that others have faced such issues fend off helplessness — or does it reinforce it knowing that the foundational issues have yet to find an enduring solution?

     I believe that there are people in the world who have never experienced feelings of helplessness. There are those who have abundant resources such that any situation can be dealt with before it becomes an actual problem that has a potential for feelings of helplessness. Someone who always has more than enough money doesn’t feel helpless upon being presented with debt or a bill — and their children may be raised such that they don’t even understand the concept. They may feel complete amazement that there is someone who does not have the resources to pay for a happy meal. It’s the (not an accurate historical quote) “let them eat cake” situation. And other problems can be delegated.

     There are people who are emotionally isolated from the world — psychopaths. They are fully focused on themselves and the concept of anything they cannot do is not possible.

     But, the vast majority of us do feel helpless about things at times. And the rich probably do have their own set of problems — I’m just not qualified to say what they might be.

     There is a seductive aspect to helplessness. “No one can blame me if I cannot do it, I am helpless”. It is certainly much easier to do nothing (though it may have both direct, and indirect, adverse effects). And there is a balancing point of any friends or acquaintances being supportive of you — or being enabling of your helplessness.

     The first step away from helplessness is to become aware of resources to allow progress away from problem areas. Helplessness and depression are often found together so being presented with a list of resources is not sufficient. The person feeling helpless must be able to recognize that they can proceed with finding the resources. And the potential for feelings of helplessness seems to increase each year, especially as more and more resources are concentrated into the control of so few.

     But it is possible. Becoming aware of resources (and escaping the vortex of depression) may need exterior pressure. Certainly, if not mandatory, knowing that others are willing to help you with (at the least) knowledge and information is of great help.

     There may be areas where it is not possible to reach your goal but feelings of helplessness are more associated with lack of hope, or potential, about getting to your goal rather than actually arriving at the goal.

     After becoming aware of resources, it is a matter of using those resources. Filling out forms, paying fines, taking courses, understanding the bureaucratic labyrinths. These are examples of resources and how they can be used. Sometimes they don’t work — sometimes due to corruption or ineptness. You find the appropriate bureaucratic approach and the other party doesn’t follow their own rules. It happens. But remember that overcoming helplessness is more of gathering the energy to make the attempt and not that of arriving at the goal.

     Togetherness enables hope.

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The Status Quo: Another Opiate for the Masses OR Why the Frog doesn't Jump

      “Don’t Rock the Boat”. “If it’s not (too badly) broke, don’t fix it”. “If we leave it alone, it will get better on its own”. As far as the last one goes, it comes true just often enough that we feel as if it might be reliable (it isn’t).

     The Status Quo is so very seductive. In the short term, it requires the least effort. And, especially in the United States, we have been encouraged to always think about the short term. In conjunction with “instant gratification” and “adjusted grade scales” and “adjusting to decreasing attention span” (rather than working to increase focus and attention span). Especially in the US, we have been encouraged (over the years) to rely more and more on the status quo and to feel like there is nothing we can really do. Don’t Rock The Boat.

     “Status quo” indicates a stasis — lack of change. But that is almost never possible. While we live, we are under constant change. Breathe in. Breathe out. Heart pumps in. Heart beats out. Food goes in. Other stuff comes out. If mobile, we are in one place then in another. It’s the same with society. “Status quo” is still a matter of constant change. BUT it can be a devolving system where, under some agreed upon set of values, the majority of things get worse — or (seems not sufficiently often) the majority of things get better. Keeping the status quo refers to the lack of initiative to attempt to keep the direction of change in motion.

     What’s wrong with expending the least effort? What is wrong with leaving the boat moving along as it floats along (even if it is heading in the wrong direction)? There is a quote from Bill Gates about “hire the laziest person and they will figure out the fastest, easiest way to do things”. But that saying does NOT exclude a requirement for doing well. There is nothing wrong (and many things right) to find the easiest, most efficient, resource conserving way to do things IF we are doing it for a “better” goal.

     Most of us who have gone through the school systems (I can only speak for the US but I suspect that it is in the textbooks of much of the world) have heard the story about the frog in the kettle of water. As long as they are initially in the water when it is cool, they will stay in it even as the water gets hotter and hotter — eventually cooking them. I have heard some things recently that say the story is anecdotal and not based on real experiments. But, accurate or not, the idea still applies. People are used to allowing things to slowly get worse. Don’t Rock The Boat.

     The U.S., and the world, are showing the long term evidence of looking towards the short term rather than the long term. The ocean is getting warmer and warmer acting as a heat sink for energy storage. That stored energy can allow events to be much more energetic — which is the common aspect disguised within an outer envelope. More energy, stronger storms. More energy, colder cold fronts. More energy, warmer warm fronts. More energy, more frequent and severe floods. More energy, more frequent and severe droughts.

     But we don’t have to look at the biggest picture (the world) to recognize the trends towards short-term versus long-term thinking.

     Over the past 70 years, the U.S. has gone from walking on the moon to a 21% illiteracy rate and 54% of the population having a reading level below what is considered appropriate for sixth graders. Don’t Rock the Boat.

     Over the past 40 years, the CEOs of corporations have increased the ratio of their pay to that on the average production worker:

     This data comes from the Wikipedia article. Alas, although there was a dip around 2007, the did not continue and today is worse than ever. In 2025, the AVERAGE rario is CEO pay 268 times that of the average worker. The worst ratio this year is TWO THOUSAND and ONE times that of the average worker. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. One gets even greater excess and the other struggles harder. Don’t Rock the Boat.

     So what if those CEOs make so very much more pay than the people who actually create the products and generate the income and profits? Don’t they “deserve” it? They certainly do “legally”. But it is legal only because we elect millionaires and billionaires who create tax systems and loopholes and other items which benefit the millionaires and billionaires. We don’t have to do such. Don’t Rock the Boat.

     In 1975, the minimum wage was $2.10 which was the equivalent of $12.77/hour in 2025 dollars. In 2009, the last year the US Federal minimum wage was increased, the minimum wage was/is $7.25 — which is the equivalent of $10.88 today. Yes, that’s right, the “increased” minimum wage DECREASED in effective money the last time it was raised. And minimum wage has not been a living wage for many years. Hard work (if a job can be found) no longer means being able to have a place to live or the ability to save towards dreams. Don’t Rock the Boat.

     In 1975, minimum wage wasn’t an easy wage. But a person could rent an apartment. A person could put away something for savings towards a house or going to college. Hard work meant hope. A $42,525 house (average house in 1975) in 1975 would cost $258,595.43 today EXCEPT that the average house price in 2025 is $462,20. Yes, house prices (and house sizes) have risen much faster than wages. According to a page on college tuition inflation, college prices have gone up an average of 6% a year — leading to a current cost of three times (adjusted for inflation) that of what was needed in 1977 (the figures didn’t start at 1975). So, less money and greatly increased prices for housing and higher education. Don’t Rock the Boat.

I     n the 1950-1955 era, the US had the 13th highest life expectancy. In 2010-2015, the US had the 43rd highest life expectancy. The US health system is weighed down by the inefficiencies of the pharmaceutical/health insurance systems (which pay quite good dividends and appreciation to stockholders — and even better contributions to the campaigns of legislators). Don’t Rock the Boat.

     As this newsletter started, a status quo rarely is stagnant. Things change slowly or quickly. In the US, we have a group of legislators continuously pushing the balance over towards the already too-rich and away from the not-enough-to-live. And the other group of legislators is scared to push back, so “keeping the status quo” means capitulating and letting the other group push into greater and greater imbalance, and greater and greater debts, which leads to all of the lowering standards mentioned above. It’s not too surprising that anger and frustration builds up. Just a bit surprising, and very sad, that the originators of the worsening situation succeed in getting voters to support them even more.

Don’t Rock the Boat.

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Forgiveness: A Gift to Myself

     Many people (not you, of course) think that forgiveness is about the other person. Someone has done, or said, something that you consider offensive or bad — and you are supposed to want to forgive them. Stepping back from this imagined situation, why would they WANT you to forgive them? They might believe that they didn’t do anything offensive or bad. They might not care that they did something offensive or bad. If they are aware, and do care, then they are very likely to be apologizing to you.

     Let us assume that they have apologized to you. They are either acknowledging that they have not behaved their best or they feel there is a social need to make an apology to you. In this case, forgiveness is an acknowledgement, on your part, that they have made an apology. An appropriate response would be “I accept your apology” or, of course, “I do not accept your apology”. In this second case, if they are listening to you then their next step might either be indignation (they have done all that they can, or are willing to, do) or a request for clarification as to what more you need to hear or to be done. And so on.

     But, what are the consequences of your NOT forgiving the other (whether or not they have offered an apology)? The stated, or unstated, hope is that by withholding your forgiveness their life will continue under a shadow recognizing that they have done something bad in their life. Is that realistic?

     Who among us has never done something that was not as good as we would have preferred? Certainly not I. There are a handful of scenarios within my life history that I would change if I could. (And I am positive that there are other events I have done badly of which I am NOT aware.) And they HAVE affected my life because of their continued presence in my memory. They exist as a prick to my conscience to endeavor to do better in the future. That awareness of the past helps me to determine the standards that I require myself to meet. If I could place back into those places, perhaps I would have made an apology.

     But life moves on. I go on to make new mistakes. I recognize that I will never achieve the goal of perfection (though, as a Quaker, it is still a self-flagellation that occurs). I do not, I cannot, allow myself to remain stuck within my past. I must live and grow.

     Back to the qualities, and objectives, of forgiveness. Forgiveness as an acknowledgement may help both move on easier. But forgiveness as an acceptance may be even more important. We are not responsible to “make” them move on their journey. But acceptance can allow the “forgiver” to more easily move along. The “chains” we enact between ourselves and the past can be broken.

     Forgiveness unchains us to allow us to move forward.

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Bias, Prejudice, and Social Change: Sometimes it is hard to see the border

     I don’t know of anyone who isn’t biased. Yes, that includes myself. Biases come about based on our personal histories. Our families. Our experiences. Our friends. What we watch. What we listen to (and whom we do NOT listen to). What we read. All of these work together to form our personal histories. And that will cause biases whether we acknowledge it or not.

     I know that I am biased against the wealthy. (Our family called them the “suits”.) And it was reinforced by injustices that I observed while growing up. I know that I am biased towards women (growing up in a matriarchy, it could have gone either direction). It is by bringing biases to the conscious mind that we can work with them and get past them.

     Which brings us to the title of this newsletter/blog. According to some legal dictionaries I have read, bias is when you will choose something (for or against) if it is possible to do such in view of evidence and knowledge. Whereas, prejudice (I grew up with it called '“prejudism” — but the dictionaries INSIST that that is not the correct word (even dictionaries can be prejudiced)) is the same words it is based on — pre judged. I will not believe (or will only believe) something even if all of the evidence says it is not true (false). A bias, that a person is unaware of, may have very similar effects as for a prejudice.

     “To Kill a Mockingbird” is an expansion of the definition of prejudice. Everyone in the courtroom, including the judge and jurors, are fully aware and knowledgeable that Boo is innocent. But acknowledging that he is innocent would be an indictment of their entire social system. Therefore he is treated as if he were guilty.

     A prejudice is a foundation stone of a society and there are many laws, rules, and customs built on top of such foundation stones. Society must be literally rebuilt to eliminate a prejudice. There is great resistance to this because, in any society, some will benefit more from the society and others will benefit less (possibly some MUCH more and others MUCH less). This is why “To Kill a Mockingbird” is so high up on book banning lists. Those who benefit find it very difficult to surrender some of that benefit. This fits into Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (my blog about this is here — I don’t want to dig too much deeper within this note).

     Without digging deeply into Maslow, I will list the names of the needs in order — physiological, safety, love, esteem and self-actualization. Changing a society brings all of these needs into question and instability — but especially those of physiological and safety needs. From the point of view of those who benefit more, questions arise. If I treat all people fairly, will I still have a job? What will I have to give up? Can I continue to provide for my family? Will I starve?

     These are not irrational questions (but reactions may be quite irrational). If you have a society where 50% of the population gets 95% of the resources, then making it equal will greatly reduce the amount available to those that currently benefit.

     Biases and prejudices do not apply only to the “isms” (racism, anti-semitism, genderism, etc.) Society has biases (not usually prejudices as awareness of such biases can override them) to reward those who are taller, deemed more attractive, speak in a specific dialect, etc. It would not create as much of an earthquake to change, or eliminate, such biases (it possibly would if they were prejudices) but it is still NOT easy. It might require some exterior need to initiate changes. That could be (and almost definitely has been) a basis for a science fiction book.

     Biases can be reduced with awareness. The reduction of biases WILL change society and culture — but slowly as the reduction is done slowly. Elimination of prejudice has to be done deliberately with full recognition of the gains for some and the losses for others.

     That brings us back to Maslow because solving the universal base physiological and safety needs is a requirement for progress. If everyone is confident that they will be able to meet those basic needs for food, shelter, clothing, safety … then it is less difficult to shuffle the deck of society. Doing that requires the shifting of another foundation stone — that of distribution of resources.

     It’s not easy (as history shows us over and over).

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Censorship: When a group, or individual, is terrified that the truth shall prevail over lies.

 "The real conflict is between truth and lies. One mark of a deteriorating society is when people cannot discern between truth and lies." — Ann Landers

     I used to firmly believe that, when presented with the truth and presented with a lie, the truth would always prevail (eventually). Ideally, I still think this is true, but with the advent of data silos (self-imposed restriction of information available), I no longer believe this is always so.

     A lie cannot be exposed if people choose to never to listen to the truth.

     Note that there is a huge difference between hearing and listening. Lies repeated over and over do not magically become true. And the truth presented calmly can be heard but never listened to even though it stays the truth.

     When a group, or individual, is afraid that people will believe the truth then their only option is to impose restrictions on the ability to hear/see/read that truth. Data silos are the form that it takes for self-restriction. Censorship is when restrictions are imposed from the outside. Such censorship may be enacted by governments or by local subsets of society.

     I usually do not take part in threads on the net about book banning in schools and libraries because those working to ban books rarely listen. Of late, I tried to interject a bit of rationality into a thread but pulled back quickly because they quickly started “responding” to things that were never said.

     One thread talked about removing pornography and sex from school libraries.

I asked them to name such a book.
          Hundreds of people on the thread — no one could name a book
IF someone had named a book, I would have asked for a page number or a quote
          But not one person had named a book and I have more faith in our
          hard-working librarians than I am in what is literally a mob that
          is just repeating what they hear from someone else and don’t care if it is true.

     I do know of books that contain “hard core” sexuality — though I do not seek them out. One set comes from a very popular author who also writes lesbian romance books. Another is from a New York Times bestselling author who doesn’t hold back an iota of what can be done with heterosexual bodies. But they are not in our school libraries and, frankly, I have never heard of any protests about them.

     So, what books do get banned — and why? In the list of the most-often banned books in the US, there are various reasons mentioned. “The top ten reasons books were challenged and banned included sexual content (92.5% percent of books on the list); offensive language (61.5%); unsuited to age group (49%); religious viewpoint (26%); LGBTQIA+ content (23.5%); violence (19%); racism (16.5%); drugs, alcohol, and smoking (12.5%); "anti-family" content (7%); and political viewpoint (6.5%).” [from referenced Wikipedia article].

     As mentioned above, most people who talk about banning books have not, themselves, read the book — and often don’t even know the title or author of the book (though sometimes it is ONLY the title or author that they know). But there is usually an initiator and, presumably and hopefully, that initiator of trying to ban a book HAS read the book.

     So, given the above “top ten” reasons to ban books, what are the underlying discomforts? For sexual content, it is possible that there are some books that slip past the scrutiny of even the best, eagle-eyed, librarian. And it is possible that there are some books that really should be pulled from a school library. This includes for the other stated reasons. There are books that are not suitable for particular ages — and when they have slipped past the educational guardians there usually is not much difficulty in getting them removed.

     I will also note that, even if banned, people can (and will) still read (or watch or listen to) them — just less easily. It calls out that the primary issue is that some parents want the government to control their children. Parents SHOULD be INVOLVED with their children and learn WITH their children and be PART of their children’s lives.

     But most of the criticisms I have run across are not about specific sexuality in a book but, rather, the idea that sexuality exists. A book about a mother and father raising three children is usually not disapproved of by any. But a family where two men raise three children is very likely to be objected to. Or a family where a “mixed racial” couple are raising three children. Or a family where a mother and father is raising a child who is very uncomfortable being treated as a specific gender or the child is attracted to others who are of the same gender. The root problem is acceptance of a situation different from the societal norm — not any explicit sexuality.

     Another situation is telling the tale of a situation that is not a positive one. Abuse — physical, sexual, or emotional — is not a comfortable subject. The same is true of the abuse of drugs or other substances. But people, including adolescent and younger children, do encounter such situations. Pretending that these situations do not exist is not helping children. They may be encountering such situations at home. How do they know that such situations are not normal and they should not feel terrible because they have been caught up in such situations? What if their parents are divorcing and they don’t understand, their parents cannot calmly explain, and the children may even blame themselves? In such cases, the books may be a literal “lifeline” for the children. The problem is not the book (or movie) but the reality that they feel they have no one to talk with about such problems.

     A third category enters the worlds of changed societal norms (acceptable language, behaviors, social strata, environmental or societal environments, etc.). This may be a difference between regions, countries, or periods of history. According to the current, local, set of societal norms a book may be in conflict with them. Many of the criticisms of “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” or “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” arise because the completely normal and acceptable language and behaviors of THAT period of time are no longer acceptable today.

     Does rewriting history really help anyone? Does pretending that life has always been as it ideally is today help anyone? This situation keeps arising — and not just for books and movies — but legal and historical cases where today’s standards are expected to have been held by the people of yesterday or some other locale.

     A fourth major category is simply that we don’t like the way the author thinks or the things that they put into print or a movie. They don’t have the same political, religious, moral, environmental, societal, scientific, or whatever viewpoint as someone else. True, and this is yet another case where parents should be INVOLVED with their children and what they are reading and watching and listening to. We have raised children to become adults who are unable to think about subjects, to discuss subjects, to research subjects. Is forcing children to NOT learn such skills really beneficial? Does society benefit from its citizens unable to discern reality from fantasy, facts from fiction, truths from lies?

     There are some books that slip past our hardworking librarians and should not be easily accessible by children. In such cases, all should know exactly what and why something is not appropriate. In other cases, the material may not be enjoyable or positive-in-viewpoint but still reflects something that is real. In such cases, the problem is primarily that the parents are not taking the time and energy to work with their children so that all understand what is going on and the effects of the situations on everyday interactions.

“Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too.” — Voltaire

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Adolescence: When Once is Enough

     When one is just chatting with people, two related topics come up on occasion. They are two aspects of the same thing. Would you like to live forever and would you like to be young again? There is no “right” answer but, being me, I always respond with a question (my universe will never run out of questions) — “would I have to go through adolescence again? There is no way that I would go through adolescence again.”

     People are unique. I am sure there are those who had a fantastic adolescence and would go into a perpetual loop for those years over and over again. But I, personally, have never met such a person. I believe the odds are heavily against there being a lot of people who go through such an ideal period.

     Why? Humans change all through their lives. The first aware collision (after birth) between the maturing human and their environment is often called “the terrible twos”. This doesn’t mean the child is necessarily terrible but much adaptation is required on the part of the child and the part of the guardian. Both need to adapt. If neither adapts, it is difficult for the child to continue healthily on their unique path. This, however, usually occupies only a few months within our lives. (Admittedly, there are those who do not appear to have ever fully graduated this stage.)

     Change during adolescence may be better likened to that of a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly. So many changes. Some authorities (what is an authority — I don’t really know — only Google and other search engines know) indicate that adolescence should be extended until through about 24. I believe that this is because of the greater complexity of “growing up” and being able to fit into society. I suspect that “authorities” would have shortened the adolescent period in the 1700s or 1800s because you were expected to launch into the world much earlier than today.

     These changes can be grossly grouped as biological, psychological, and social. A person may encounter difficulties, and roadblocks, in one of these areas — or in all. As I said above, it is possible that there will be no difficulty for a person but I have never met that person.

     For me, I was fairly lucky (but still would never want to repeat it). I had severe acne but the worst was on my back and shoulders. I was moderately depressed in childhood so I benefited physically from the emotionally created sleep. I was tolerated amongst many different social niches — though I was still lonely as I was not part of any of them. And I was so aware of the power of women that I was scared s..tless of even approaching them much less run into the minefields of dating (which has gotten even worse over the years). (I did ask — and was refused by — three young women to the senior prom.)

     But my mild case of adolescent navigation is not the norm. As stated above, some focus on one area of changes and few (I believe) in all. Out pacing others — or lagging behind — in the class in terms of physical growth and changes activates the anxiety of those who are scared of the changes. This anxiety often is reflected in passive or active bullying. The attraction of the mythical “normal” becomes absolute. It is why some jeans commercials advertise being unique by everyone dressing the same.

     School districts (or superintendents) seem to be deliberately obtuse about the need for high schoolers to sleep later and start classes at not-so-early hours. Even when the parents of a district pummel the district enough to follow through on what is reasonable, it can be diverted. In our younger sons’ school district, it was planned to change schedules to ones better suited for the different ages. But the superintendent changed and the wealthy parents of the district succeeded in clobbering the plan. Back to square one for all.

     Biological changes and differences from the average have the advantage of being visible — there is something to point to. But the psychological and social changes are much more long lasting. Of course, some of that may be initiated by physical changes. Feelings of inferiority can arise out of comparisons to others — either ones that we make ourselves or by others about us.

     It’s not my belief that children are inherently malicious but they can be quite insecure. Insecurity and fear can lead to very poor behavior with other children. One would think that a feeling of solid support from the family would offset the outside pressure. Unfortunately, all too often, the negative feelings that can be experienced during adolescence are locked inside and unable to be shared with the family (assuming that one is lucky enough to have a supportive family). Not shared, not helped.

     In the United States, sexuality is still considered to be a bad thing. Not just the acts of sexuality but even discussing it or the feelings associated with sexuality. This may result from religious roots (mistaken beliefs about the Garden of Eden and exile) or a general puritanical desire to hide away all aspects of the physical body. But, with hormones shifting and surging, adolescents need help and guidance especially when they won’t admit it. The US (and even worse in some other areas of the world) has shifting, unhelpful, attitudes about dating and gender roles. Confusing to adults, even more confusing to adolescents.

     Fear of the future during changes, fear of exposure of feelings of weakness and uncertainty. In the idyllic past, children passed through this stage by being part of a small local group. Within a small peer group, the dynamics could be sorted out, albeit with difficulty. Today, the adolescent is confronted with a world of their peers. Shaming goes from one-on-one to hammered attacks. A physical ideal expands from 1 out of 20 to 1 out of a 100,000 so that almost no one can even approach it. The anonymity of the Internet removes personal responsibility and the group mind of the folks of the “Lord of the Flies” situation can arise.

     With all of these myriad changes arising within a flood of humanity, individuals may give up. They may feel it’s hopeless. They need support.

     Are we lost? Never. But a shift of importance is needed. A shift from quantity to quality. Experienced, knowledgeable people (and not AI for the foreseeable future) need to be available to those going through the minefields of adolescence. Anonymity on the Internet is a new phenomenon — though closely related to the old “poison pen” anonymous letter in the mail or telephone call in the middle of the night. Precise identification of individuals may not be necessary but the ability to block them should be possible. Some individuals are trolls, bent to poison others and society. (Trollbots also exist though I am unaware of them targeting adolescents.) Banning books and knowledge has never, throughout all of history, been a positive response to chaos — but that urge is tied to the need for guidance of those in the search for identity.

     Particularly in the US, if something doesn’t generate profits it isn’t really considered important. (Lip service (but not the reality) is given to social workers and educational workers.) But the coming generations are the foundation of future workers (and even profits). Society, as a whole, needs the coming generations to be supported in all the ways we can. Parents and guardians can take up more of the support load but only by being supported themselves in their own needs.

     We need to shift from short-term goals and results to that of generational needs and long-term effects on each other and the planet.

“Make it so.”

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