Wednesday, December 6, 2023

It's true: You cannot please everyone

 

     Have you ever been in a situation where you are evaluating what to say or do and end up saying to yourself "what if they don't like it?" I have that very much on the top of my mind when I am writing blogs -- and that awareness, I believe, helps me to watch my words carefully to attempt to communicate clearly and succinctly.

     But, do I succeed in not offending anyone? No, though negative responses (actually, any responses) have been very few. Have I succeeded in making my meaning understood by everyone? Absolutely not. I have gotten a couple of responses where I could only say "are they talking about my blog?" The responsibility of making clear what I say still resides with me -- but I cannot, or will not, accept the full burden of other people understanding.

     What about negative responses in which it is clear that they understand what I am saying and disagree? Well, I make no claims of omniscience -- I can be wrong. I may be wrong because I am unaware of other facts and instances which weigh against what I am saying. I may be wrong because _I_ don't understand some of the information that I have read, researched, and analyzed. There are, of course, subjects about which the reader has made up their mind and nothing can persuade them to consider something else. I may be perceived as wrong in areas where there is NOT a single "right" and a single "wrong" perspective. Some things just aren't that clear cut. Perhaps more agreement might occur with further clarification; "B is true if C is happening and D didn't happen in an environment where E and F are possible with interactions from G." Whew. Sure, maybe more people would be of like mind but would I be achieving anything other than making it more difficult for those other readers to understand?

     There are issues I choose to not tackle because of the likelihood of disagreement. These are areas in which I would enjoy one-on-one discussion where we can each present other examples, histories, or viewpoints where we can both benefit and, perhaps, come to better understanding. But that's not very useful in a blog with thousands of unknown readers, with thousands of unknown histories and viewpoints. Blogs aren't very useful for discussions. I would say that it is even very difficult with bulletin boards and discussion threads because for each of the people actively participating within a thread, there may be dozens who are passively reading and without that necessary give-and-take the value may be very small. There are, of course, blogs where it is the reputation of the person that creates the audience and they say (hopefully clearly and carefully with integrity) whatever they want without that opportunity for useful discussion.

     Is this lack of universal pleasure at reading what I say a good reason not to say it? Well, it would certainly be "safer" -- less potential conflict, fewer potential attacks. If you don't say anything then it can't be knowingly attacked. However, I am sure that you have been in situations where you have "bitten your tongue" when someone says something that you greatly disagree about. Having a personal shield within a "cone of silence" does not eliminate disagreement -- it just stops you from actively participating.

     As I say on my blog header, the original purpose of this blog was to expand upon technological subjects (see my first couple of years of blogs such as one on email or clouds -- but there didn't seem to be any serious questions and it is not possible to know what others do not know -- questions are needed. So, the blog changed into, primarily, one of helping to "facilitate general communication". I try to make them useful, when possible, in both the work and personal environments. But, if I am trying to facilitate communication then that means to make it easier. I can't do that by sealing myself away. My skin has to be able to take those potential slings and arrows. Hopefully, my efforts are of some benefit to some people.

To Waste or to Waist: That is the question

       As is true of many people growing up in the US, I was encouraged to always clean my plate (encouraged is putting it mildly -- I remem...