As a long time Quaker (or member of the Religious Society of Friends), I have always had an extra awareness of silence, its meaning, and its uses. (Not to say that other, non-Quakers, cannot have similar awareness.) Generally, most people seem to divide silence into “comfortable” silence and “uncomfortable” silence. This is defined by periods when you think someone (perhaps yourself) “should” be speaking but aren’t — and periods when it is mutually felt that there is nothing that needs to be said. But silence can also be used as an active part of communication especially when elements exist which do not have the capacity for traditional speech — nature, God, the ill, and so forth.
Although Quakers have experienced the same types of divisions of perspective and practice as most religions of the world have, there is usually some period, within the time set aside for worship, where there is a general silence. Some people within the Quaker community call the silent periods within worship — “expectant worship”. I prefer to call it a “living silence”.
Believing that there is an ongoing connection to something beyond us (the exact word is not that important — God, Holy Spirit, Allah, Mother Earth, …) we sit in silence to try to listen to that which is unsaid. Some people do the same thing within an informal situation where they stroll through the woods and listen for something within themselves or, perhaps, outside of themselves. It is likely a part of a person’s spirituality but it does not necessarily have to be part of any organized religion.
It does not always work. It requires “centering” by most of the people within the group. This centering closes the door to everyday concerns — did I lock the car, will I get the project done in time, I must remember to get milk on the way home, … The centering can also be blocked by feelings of urgency prompted by world, local, or personal events. Connection to that something else must be allowed to happen within its own time scale; it cannot be rushed. Perhaps not “real” but I have felt a sort of “electricity” in the air within the group on those occasions when the centering does work. It is a feeling that the connection is real, and active, and can lead you to wherever you need to go.
Sometimes, it really doesn’t work. We call those “popcorn meetings” where people pop up to say something that they feel they just MUST say at the moment and then, after sitting back down, someone else “pops up” either to contribute something new and different or to comment upon previous spoken worship. Without the time to renew centering, it is doubtful (though not impossible) whether such continued messages come from anything other than our own everyday ponderings (though those ponderings may be acute and profound).
In modern society, many (probably most) are uncomfortable with silence. Conversations are filled with”small talk” or — worse — absent minds pecking at their smartphones. I think that it is likely that the difficulty with silence is closely related to the shift in attention span to shorter and shorter intervals between “actions”.
Drink eight glasses of water. Learn to breathe properly. Keep your back straight in the chair. And — to be added — learn to love, cherish, and appreciate the silence around you.
