Friday, February 2, 2024

Imposter Syndrome: Preemptive sabotage

 

     I did a blog on Imposter Syndrome last year. But that blog was more about what it is and how you can work with it and overcome it. There are other aspects of that feeling. One. in particular, is what I would call "preemptive sabotage". If you aren't comfortable feeling like you are suited for a role then why not demonstrate that lack of ability? You aren't an imposter if you really aren't able to do it and shouldn't do it, right?

     This aspect is closely related to "Fear of Success". The rationales are slightly different but the methods of achievement are quite parallel.

     Not up to it physically? Oversleep those important meetings. When I was growing up, I didn't enjoy being home very much and school was my escape (I know that, for most people, it works the other way). Somehow, I was never able to convince the schools or the teachers to open up on holidays and weekends but I did succeed in having my major childhood illnesses during school holidays quite a bit more than statistically likely. I didn't want to be home, didn't want to be physically available to do things (other than reading and watching cartoons), and so I was sick. Mumps? Measles? Chicken Pox? Stomach Flus? Usually, they occurred during winter/Christmas break so that I had time to get sick and get better before school resumed though I certainly succeeded in phasing out of spring breaks also. Single day holidays were usually safe as there was a danger that I wouldn't be well enough to return to school if I got sick.

     Of course, there are also those self-inflicted aspects which help one not to show up. One can get into all kinds of reasons behind them but stage fright is certainly one way to do it. You've prepared for the possibilities, memorized your lines, perhaps memorized all of the lines such that you could play any role and, ready to step onto the stage, you can't make that first step. You've walked up and down that stairway hundreds of times but, on the way to a presentation, you miss a step, pull a tendon, and limp into that meeting 20 minutes late.

     Just completed a complex assignment? Worked extra hard on it? Had to skip meals and your twentieth anniversary? Ah, just tell people around you -- especially any manager or supervisor -- "it was nothing". And they'll believe you. That doesn't mean you need to go overboard the other direction and puff yourself up until you reach true blowhard state. But, if you don't claim credit for your work there will likely be someone else who will step up and claim it for themself.

     Don't allow enough time for potential problems with traffic and you WILL sometimes miss those important meetings. In some cultures, it is worse to be early than to be late -- but you can always sit in the car, take an extra trip to the restroom, get a drink of water, or otherwise use any time that turns out to be unneeded.

     In many activities, meditative practice can be useful. Sit, imagine you are walking up to the plate and hitting the ball. Be in that meeting room showing those slides and not finding the ones you want. Practice recovering from mistakes and problems as much as you prepare for presenting it correctly. There may be a point at which you are tired of rehearsing but it is unlikely you shall ever reach a point where you have over-rehearsed.

     There are many ways to prepare. Failing to do such is also preparation -- preparation to not succeed. Follow through on what you have as your goal and dream.

To Waste or to Waist: That is the question

       As is true of many people growing up in the US, I was encouraged to always clean my plate (encouraged is putting it mildly -- I remem...