Judging versus Awareness: A difference of right and wrong

 

     I love books. But I also want others to be able to share in my love of books. So, I share them with others that I believe will appreciate them. Sometimes, they don't come back in the same condition that they went out in. Coffee rings. Bent covers. Folded over corners. Sometimes even rips or markings. The book will never be the same again. Who cares?  Many see a book as a transient physical object that has a limited lifetime. To them it's just not a big deal at all. But to me, it is very sad.

     When I was young, I would get angry at things of this nature. As I have aged (the jury is still out as to whether I have matured), I have recognized that this is not an issue of "right" or "wrong", "good" or "evil". Nevertheless, it is known to be a likely behavior that the person will treat books in this manner. So, from that point on, I will only share a book with them that I am willing to consider a gift (in fact, rather than loan I may just give it outright).

     Moving from judging to awareness. When you are judging -- there is a verdict. That verdict is based on societal, and your own personal, standards. For some things, those standards are close to universal. For other things -- definitely not. My wife and I were greatly surprised, when eating in Norway, to see the other diners eating their hamburgers with a knife and fork. They were probably equally surprised to see us pick them up. Good or bad, it would be appropriate to make sure that new guests have a knife and fork available when inviting them over for hamburgers.

     If someone you know often loses things, you try not to loan them things you want back. If someone is a driver who gets many driving tickets and is in accidents more than average, you may not want to loan them your car or accept a ride from them.

     It is difficult to come up with examples that won't be offensive because, for almost all of us, the standards that we grew up with are "the way it is". Especially in the US, where only a small percentage have learned other languages or visited other countries, it is difficult to recognize that such standards are not universal. The new global online society is beginning to expand that circle of awareness but, as is true of many things, change comes with the young.

     For me, pirating is bad. If someone has created music, video, software, games, or whatever then they should receive value back for what they have given (the value does not have to be money). But I have had it repeatedly pointed out to me that, if something is pirated, no loss of money exists because the person otherwise would not have obtained it. Parts of me can see both arguments but it is not a universal standard. Still, companies and people are allowed to be aware of it -- even try to prevent it -- even if they don't all agree on the morality of the issue.

     So, judging requires a verdict. That verdict is not universal. But awareness of the action, or behavior, is universal and is appropriate to be used as a criterion for how you interact.