Giving Thanks: where it comes from is more important than how it is shown

 

     On this day in the US, it is a holiday referred to as "Thanksgiving". There are other Thanksgiving Days around the world but, being a US citizen, our holiday is the one with which I am most familiar. Our Thanksgiving Day centers around food because the historical tale centers around a 3-day feast occurring with the Pilgrims and a local First Nation (Wampanoag) in November 1621 during a peaceful period of time. Besides the sharing of food, the Wampanoags were vital to the survival of the Pilgrims as they showed the Pilgrims methods of cultivation and fertilization to be able to grow food. Alas, that peaceful period did not persist but the Pilgrims, at the least, still had reason to be grateful and give thanks. For First Nations in the US, it is more often a Day of Remembrance rather than a celebration.

     As a feast, food was important -- as well as the fact that the harvest, and their very survival, was due to the generosity of the Wampanoags. What was eaten? Probably not pumpkin pie or turkey but the exact composition of the feast will have to be left to time-traveling anthropologists of the future.

     The central aspect of Thanksgiving, however, is not the food -- it is the giving of thanks. Acknowledgement, appreciation, and gratitude are all aspects of the process of giving thanks and, although each has a separate dictionary definition, it would be difficult to sincerely express thanks without something of all three being involved.

     Acknowledgement, or recognition, is critical. You cannot give true thanks if you don't know who they are. In a couple of the companies that I worked for, I received a fifth anniversary card in the company mail. In neither case was the card signed. In one case, the card wasn't even addressed. I joked, without feeling much humor, that I should save the card so I could use it later with someone else. This is NOT the way to acknowledge, or thank, someone. It should be personal. Preferably face-to-face but at least knowing their name, knowing what they have done, and being able to thank the person as a person.

     Appreciation stems from the awareness that, without someone (this particular person) being present to do the things for which we are thankful, that thing of interest might never have been accomplished. So, first is WHO? Second is WHAT? The third is that of gratitude -- which may be deemed HOW.

     And How seems to be something that companies and people seem to get confused about. As in my old companies, they seemed to think that a larger gift would "make up for" missing out on the first two vital aspects. They didn't know who I was and they didn't know what I had done but here's this fifth anniversary gift to mark the occasion. No, it doesn't work that way. If they had given me a signed card, addressed to me and presented by someone who knew for what they were thanking me -- that would have been wonderful and more than sufficient. (Not that I would have turned down a new Porsche <smile>.)

     The same thing is in the process when you are giving a birthday gift, anniversary gift, Christmas or Kwanzaa gift, etc. Whether the gift is forward (to another person) or as response (thanks for a gift or gifts), the acknowledgement and appreciation make the core of the thanks, or gift. Remembering to grab the dry cleaning on a regular basis is of greater thankfulness than an emerald brooch.

     So, sit down at a Thanksgiving Day meal (or any other meal -- those of us who consistently have food on our tables have much to be thankful for every day) and recognize those around us and the things they have done (not necessarily for us), and appreciate them, the food, the company, and the existence of all.

     And may everyone have even more to be thankful for, tomorrow, and the days to come.